Sea of Desperation....

The waves of emotion have finally made contact with the heart. All of the crazy experiences combine with some serious homesickness has left R void of hope and joy today. Proverbs says a crushed spirit dries up the bones. This is a good picture of R's condition. Two major things that God has longed to teach R during this season; 1) it's not about R and his story, but about God and his story.  Essentially R's whole life has been about self-reliance and self-dependence. Not really having much security growing up R thinks and has always thought that the buck stops with him. All of his glories are his own and so are all of his failures. Recognizing God's authority and sovereignty are difficult feats in R's world. 2) God is a God of abundant blessing. R believes this is true just not for himself. He doesn't feel it's right for him to ask God for abundance. He doesn't feel he is worthy of a huge blessing. He resists the idea that he, just for who he is, is extraordinarily special and loved.
Both of these truths are being severely attacked by an enemy who wants him dead...and if that can't be achieved physically then dead at heart.
These last couple of weeks have continued to be a struggle to actually get the boat ready to fish. Two steps forward, one step back. Progress, but slow and tedious. As the fish have started to come in, R is still making his boat actually ready to fish, which I think has been discouraging for him. Yesterday, after getting all the hydraulics finally plumbed he realized that is pump was putting out only 100lbs of pressure when it needs to be putting out about 2000lbs. This is the way they pull the huge net and fish on board, so its pretty important. He was able to get a cannery to agree to buy his fish yesterday and a phone number for someone to lease out a skiff. This was definitely good news but hard in the face of the boat STILL not being ready.

R really needs your prayer to believe the truth:
- that God does not leave His children high and dry
- that this story is God's story and thus so are the successes and failures
- that despite his brokenness its still ok to ask God for abundant blessing
- that hope and joy do not require an extra emotional reserve in order to seek
- that we will be ok financially and familially
- that God uses the ridiculous and foolish in His upside down kingdom to do great things for Him

Pray:
- that the hydraulic pump is an easy fix
- that Kenny comes to town ASAP
- that a skiff is found to lease
- that the net is easy to repair and make ready
- that just like all the other nets we've thrown out that God will fill this one to meet our needs too!

thank you community for all your prayers and support.

D